Forgive To Win!

Today’s mentoring tip is related to the fact that I did not provide a mentoring tip yesterday, and therefore did not fulfill my promise to provide a daily mentoring tip for 90 days. I have my reasons for why it did not happen, why I was more preoccupied and focused on other things, but they are all excuses that do not hold up. I could have spent a minute writing something, anything, I didn’t. I dropped the ball.

Today’s mentoring tip is that all of us periodically drop the ball and don’t follow through, and fall off the bicycle. And the point is we need to acknowledge it and own it, not make excuses unless there is truly a legitimate one that made it truly physically impossible for the commitment to be kept. And then we need to not beat ourselves up with guilt, shame and self-loathing for falling off the path. We remind ourselves that this path is about progress not perfection. We do the best we can.

When we fall off the bicycle we don’t beat ourselves up, we simply get back on the bicycle and start pedaling again. we look at what made us fall off the bicycle, what made us lose our balance, so we can learn from the experience and hopefully not repeat the undesirable behavior. and then we pat ourselves on the back for being back on the bicycle and we go forth with joy, inner peace and renewed faith and confidence in ourselves and our program.

– The following is an excerpt from my best-selling book, Forgive To Win!, relevant to the above discussion:

Rome Wasn’t Built In A Day

What we’re attempting to do is the most difficult assignment we have ever given ourselves. It’s by no means a simple process to change deeply-engrained thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It will take time.

It is unrealistic to anticipate the kind of change, growth, success and prosperity we’re talking about here happening overnight. It is wiser to expect gradual improvements in our lives.

Periodically, our ego will shout at us that, “It’s taking too long, it’s not going to work, give it up!” But we don’t listen. We don’t veer from our path. We stay the course. We do the best that we can.

When we find ourselves getting impatient, frustrated and discouraged because results aren’t happening fast enough, we remind ourselves that utilizing a tool which will dramatically transform the lives and realities of ourselves and all those we touch requires time for the synchronization of cooperating people and circumstances.

We remind ourselves of the story about the tortoise and the hare: that slow and steady progress wins the race.

More than anything else, we remind ourselves that the patience required of us in the daily application of the Forgiveness Diet is patience that will pay off, compared to all of our time, money and efforts in the past which have not.

Two Steps Forward, One Step Back

In addition to acknowledging the importance of patience, we must also acknowledge that there will be good days and bad days, and that we shouldn’t allow the bad days to set us back or derail us either.

Good days and bad days are part of the normal progression of change and growth. Two steps forward, one step back. That’s how it works. No point in getting frustrated by it or giving it more power than it deserves.

When we have our bad days, when we find ourselves slipping back into our old habits and counterproductive behavior patterns, we don’t beat ourselves up with guilt, shame, and self-condemnation.

We just get back to applying and practicing the Forgiveness Diet, one day at a time, one moment at a time, one choice at a time. We don’t dwell on how long it took us to get going again. We don’t deride and degrade ourselves for getting derailed in the first place. We just get back to the program.

We just get back to rigorously practicing the Forgiveness Diet on a daily basis, knowing that it is the surest way to forgive ourselves, end our self-sabotage, and harness the inherent power within us, in order to self-actualize the fullness of our potential.

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